Now, as a parent, I can tell you that there are several different opinions on this topic. Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you which is right and which is wrong, but the bottom line is everyone that has children will offer their input, then you have those that don’t have any children that want to offer their opinion. Now if you are a parent, like I there will be times when sure, a little opinion here and there or advice is great.
This seems to be one of the hottest topics or debates when it comes to parenting styles. You have those that are from the country, like myself, that were raised to respect, the elders, don’t talk back, say please and thank you etc. And if you didn’t do these things, well, heaven help you! The bottom line is if you were raised this way you knew better than to not listen to your parent. If you didn’t then yes, chances are you were swatted on the behind.
On the other side of this you have those who don’t believe in spanking their children. And you hear about the great debates about whether or not it is abuse, or whether its productive to discipline your child with whippings, spankings or anything that is defined as ‘corporal punishment’. Often times when a parent chooses not to use corporal punishment they will discipline with grounding the child. Removing privileges or other means than spankings.
Now if you were to sit down and look at the success rate of both forms of discipline you are going to see that in the end, the results are fairly even. Everyone has their own style of parenting and disciplining their child.
Ask a parent
Now when you stop and talk to a parent about this, chances are you will never get two answers the same. As a mother, and someone who holds their degree in Criminal Justice with emphasis on Juvenile law, I can tell you I have worked with children who have grown up in homes with very different morals, forms of discipline, attention and overall lifestyles. Yes, I believe, how a child is raised, how a mother and father choose to parent can play a large role in the kind of adult they will become. But the bottom line is whether you live in a 6 bedroom mansion and have everything handed to you or you were raised to earn your money from the time you were old enough to count; as we grow and learn who we are as individuals, in the end we decide who we will become as adults and individuals.
Now discipline and asking one or two parents what they think offers a little light, but when it boils down to it as far as parenting styles go, there are going to be different ways to do everything. Those that go to church and expect their children to go, until they are 18 and choose for themselves, or if you choose to allow your children to choose from a younger age. On the other side, you have kids who are given a weekly allowance for chores, good grades etc. And then you have those that are raised with the automatic expectations of being a productive individual, and those things are expected and may not come with reward, but if they don’t meet those expectations, they may lose privileges.
What we are trying to say is, for lack of a better term, there is more than one way to skin a cat. When you grow up and have children you base your parenting skills off that of what you experienced as a child. You either decide to follow in your parents steps or you don’t. And your child will do the same, as will theirs and so on. What is right and what is wrong will differ from household to household, and from child to child. There is not a right or wrong way to parent your children.
Ask yourself these questions: do your children know that you love them? Without a doubt in your mind can you say they KNOW that they can come to you for anything? Do you praise their good behavior and constructively correct negative behavior? If you can answer yes to these questions, then YES you are doing a good job, you are parenting in a way that works for you and your family.